I plead with you: Please do not cry for Rob Kardashian's penis.
He's doing enough of the crying on his own.
For an E! network special entitled "Ryan Seacrest with the Kardashians", Rob revealed "Every time I hop in the shower and see myself naked, I cry."
Why you may ask? Rob explains: "Because my penis looks so small now.”
The background for this revelation can be better summed up in the following "Before and After" photo:
That's Rob on the left and the creature that swallowed Rob on the right.
Now, before we talk about the vile nature of criticisizing someone's weight, I have two points to weigh in on or preface with:
1) I know that weight is nothing to mock or make fun of. I deal with my own body issues and was brought up in a home with major weight issues. My own mother was horribly obese throughout my entire childhood and food was a hot button topic in our home. My mother had to order clothes through catalogs in specialty sizes regularly. When they arrived, if there were any fit issues, I was driven to department stores in my family's oversized school bus of a van. I had to go in and make returns at the ripe ol' age of 8, while my mother stayed parked in the car outfront due to the discomforts of her weight. I know that weight gain and struggle must be terrible in the public view, as I know it can be enough of a struggle in private.
Below is the trailer from 'What's eating Gilbert Grape?', a film from the 90's with Leonardo DiCaprio and Johnny Depp where their mother struggles with many of the same issues. I related a lot to this movie when it came out as I understood a lot of the same problems with 'Mama'.
It's a great movie either way and noteworthy to see. Go rent it.
Back to my two points...
2) The Kardashian clan are attention-whores. No shade. I respect them for it and say they should sell what they got. Rob is definitely not one trying to fade into the background. He was a cast member on 'Dancing with the Stars', has been on all of the Kardashian shows, and is constantly taking interviews and placing himself in the public eye. Still, I would think his struggle with weight would be more personal, but he continues to put himself out there and his weight interviews have become so ridiculous, that now the smear campaign can begin. It's all in good fun. If Rob is going to be so ridiculous, he opens himself up to the scrutiny. After all, this is a family famous for a sex tape.
Even in Russia, they're naked.
Rob, who I have always secretly found to be awfully cute, used to live without his shirt on.
No complaints there.
It seems, though, that in the last year Rob began to put on a lot of weight following a very public and very upsetting breakup with one Miss Rita Ora. This weight gain has been very dramatic and very much in the public eye. During the exclusive E! interview, Rob said: "Every time I hop in the shower and see myself naked, I cry... Because my penis looks so small now.” Of all of the possible things that might come to mind, that would be the last thing shared by most - I believe. I can't imagine that being someone's declaration for weight gain. It opens him up to ridicule. Firstly, Rob's young, wealthy, and able when it comes to his weight problems. While I can sympathize, he's milking this weight gain for every bit its worth.
CelebDirtyLaundry.com reports:
"A new dramatic headline from In Touch Weekly [they specialize in dramatic headlines] says that Rob Kardashian was made to pile on the pounds by Kris Jenner so he could land a more lucrative fitness deal. While some of you may scoff in derision, I don’t think anyone would put it past Kris Jenner to mastermind something like this.Of course, that’s the angle that In Touch seems to be going for as well, as a ‘source’ tells them, “Kris is hoping to get a deal for him. She told him the bigger he got, the more money they all could make.”This source also adds that, “[Jenner] brokered weight-loss deals for Rob’s sisters. She is the brains behind the girls making so much money.” Apparently, “Rob is all for getting there, too.”
This only supports my previous point about the Kardashian fame-whoring ways. It also makes me think he's going to lose the weight, making this interim time more fun to observe...
It also seems that Rob might hit you if you try to take a picture of him shirtless. Click this link to check out the article.
Rob followed his statement about weight gain and penis sadness, joking: "The upside is, every time you lose 10 pounds, you gain an inch on your penis."
Considering Rob's size, now I'm waiting for his sex tape. If he really gains an inch with every ten pounds, we are talking Porn Star Icon status. The true question now is: Who's going to be his costar? Ray J???
On the topic of the Kardashians and Ray J, I thought I'd leave you with this amazing new gem from Ray J, entitled "I hit it First":
This song is ALLEGEDLY about Kim Kardashian.
Thoughts or opinions?
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