UPDATE: YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO PRAY THE GAY AWAY!

God created all bottoms equally; well almost.



In reference to the striking image above, You may ask yourself: Who is this brooding exhibit of masculinity and raw heterosexuality?

The second question you may ask yourself is: Would he like to meet my sister?

You may question the whereabouts of this perfect specimen as well as question his dating status.

If you had asked me a week ago, I would explain that this strapping stud was an ex-gay, because YOU CAN pray away the gay.



This stud, John Paulk, was the face of the "ex-gay" movement of the 90's.
John and his butch, yet also "ex-gay" wife even appeared on the cover of 'Newsweek' magazine explaining the details of their conversions.




If that doesn't capture the essence of "Happy Married Life", then I don't know what does...

The couple even published a book, declaring their love and devotion to this "changed" lifestyle.



All I want to know is: Whose family are they focusing on?? And when did John think those glasses were a good idea? Even an ex-gay should have some sort of fashion sense, right??

(What I tell you next may shock you. Hold back your shock and terror!)

In a sweeping upset, however, it was revealed this past week that John is no longer an ex-gay.

(Remember: hold back your shock and terror!)

The stud revealed:

“For the better part of 10 years, I was an advocate and spokesman for what’s known as the 'ex-gay movement,' where we declared that sexual orientation could be changed through a close-knit relationship with God, intensive therapy and strong determination..."

Interesting...

"At the time, I truly believed that it would happen. And while many things in my life did change as a Christian, my sexual orientation did not."

"Today, I do not consider myself 'ex-gay,' and I no longer support or promote the movement. Please allow me to be clear: I do not believe that reparative therapy changes sexual orientation; in fact, it does great harm to many people."

I'm so glad it only took 10 plus years and all of the horribly damaging misinformation that Paulk put out there in order for him to come to terms with his love of the cock-a-doodle-do.

His wife released a statement that they are in the process of divorce, and that she will "pray for him".

Well, Halleluyah! Or in the words of Shangela from Rupaul's Drag Race:



For the full interview with PQ Monthly, where Paulk renounces his conversion to an ex-gay, check out the link below.

John Paulk's PQ Monthly Apology Interview

My direct reaction was mostly directed towards the economy as I am sure John will be making his rounds as a philanthropist among the bath-houses within his community; as well as at large.

But with all of this gay conversion talk, this brings to mind one of my favorite classics: 'But I'm a Cheerleader'!



'But I'm a Cheerleader' is one of my favorite movies and completely apropos here.

The story follows Natasha Lyonne's character: a young, naive, Christian cheerleader who doesn't much like kissing her boyfriend. Her family and friends host an intervention where she is the guest of honor. Believing her to be gay, her family sends her off to a "Gay-Rehab", known as "True-Directions".

For those curious, that was a young Michelle Williams along with the Diva-himself, Miss Rupaul Charles.



There are many other gems along the way, like Sinead:



Throughout the film, we learn of each of the characters' "root" or reasoning behind their "preference" to the homosexual lifestyle.

During the process of proving their conversion, some may have been left behind. (No reference to the Kurt Cameron end-of-days Evangelical videos of the same name.)

I imagine a young John Paulk having a similar exchange where he too felt like a sissy.

The roles of men and women, respectably, are examined and re-taught.



As it should be.



Exactly.



How do these women not know this already??

And then there's the men.





(I imagine John Paulk at the center of this.)

And of course, they're taught hate:




Finally, there is the sexual re-programming, which is always key in chasing the gay out of you.




As if that's not appealing to all you straight folk out there... then I don't know what to tell you. I was never sent to a conversion camp and am still riddled with "the gay". Go figure.




One of the best things about this film is its ability to teach life lessons, like the one above.

In the end, similar to life, the gays realize that there is no saving for our breed. Gays are here to stay (except in the Middle East, of course.). And our lead can follow her dreams.





And love is love.




The only real difference between this movie and Mr. John Paulk was that it took Natasha Lyonne about 85 minutes to discover her truth rather than 10 plus years. Brava!

And for my RHOBH (Real Housewives of Beverly Hills) enthusiasts, you will be thrilled to see the following clip. You will see Miss Brandi Glanville's ex Eddie Cibrian stroking the pole.

Yassssssssssssssssssss!

And for my RHOBH fans, here's a reminder of Eddie and Brandi from not so long ago...




And with that, I bid you adieu. Thoughts or comments?